Why I Hate My Restless Legs

I will just tell you how I know it: restless legs suck. My doctor doesn’t know if I have a specific syndrome or if another issue causes my restlessness. But it just sucks. During the day, I can’t stop moving. I can’t drink coffee because of this. Instead, I make a cup of hot cho20181016_083152colate.  It doesn’t completely relieve the constant shaking I do at my desk, but it is less than if I were to drink the caffeine. People often say I should just drink decaf. But I don’t enjoy coffee enough to drink socially with no desire for its effects. I will stick to my cocoa.

During the day, I sit or stand at my desk and often move my legs around. I don’t normally realize when I’m doing it. Around hour after lunch, not just my legs, but my whole body gets restless. I try to take walks every so often to ease myself.

Night is a completely different story. I find myself sitting up, as if I were awake. I am constantly moving around like a fish out of water (Magikcarp even). And I also tend to move my arms and legs around uncontrollably. This didn’t use to be a problem. I had a big bed that only my cat and I slept in, and the cat knew better than to sleep at the end of the bed. But now that I live and sleep in the bed with another person, I have lost count as too how many times I wake up, apologizing profusely for smacking him in the face.

I feel terrible. I’ve tried hot baths, messages, and even medication. I have only experienced minimum betterment. Legs are supposed to be there to help us get around and balance ourselves. They help us run and kick and jump and stand. But when I look down person walking wearing black shoes in grayscale photographyat these legs I have, I don’t see limbs that follow my mind’s orders. They are not a friend of mine. I hate my restless legs. I hate how they make me feel out of control of my own body.

But I keep stepping, restlessly.



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