A Letter to Myself (And Others Like Me)

Dear Me and others like me,

It’s okay.

You are going to be okay.

I know it doesn’t seem like it.

But it is.

It may not be easy.

I know you wish it was.

I do too.

But it probably won’t be.

Anxiety is not a joke. We all have it but in different forms and levels. Some people don’t understand my anxiety. I try not to mention it often, it makes me feel weak. But you aren’t weak. You have made it this far. Wherever you are in life, congrats! Because you did it, you have made it to this point. And you will make it further. I know you can. We all can. Please don’t cry…actually, yes, cry. Cry all you want. Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. Crying is good. It is good for you. You’ll find that after a good cry, your head is more clear.

Sadness is good. Anger is good. Emotions are good. Society has led us to believe that showing these emotions is weakness and it is not. Repeat it with me: I am not weak. I am not weak. I am not weak. I will say that there are appropriate ways in showing emotions. Getting physical is never the answer. I’m not saying I haven’t punched a wall. I have. Many times. It sucked. I bled. I have thrown things and in my sadness and anger, I have said things that I didn’t mean and regret. We all do it. It’s human.

Let me pause here and remind you: it’s going to be okay. It will. The format of life is more enjoyable on an actual rollercoaster. UP. DOWN. UP. DOWN. I know this analogy is quite overused. But good things stick around for a reason.

I don’t even know what to tell you, self (and others like me). I am no life expert. I’m not old enough to be a life expert. I think to be a life expert, you would have to live multiple lives and remember every single moment of them all. You would have to write down all of your research. But let’s say there was a book on how to get rid of the sadness and the anger and the fear…would we actually know how to be happy?

We only know what happy is because we have experienced the opposite of such. We know when we win because we know what it feels like to lose. We know that behind our sadness and anger and fear is a road of happiness we will get back onto one day. Yet, in the midst of these grotesque emotions, we feel as if we cannot go on. We can’t. We have hit the limit of pain. There is no more amount we can possibly take.

But what about that happiness at the end of the road? Don’t you want to see it again? Or is it just too hard to keep moving? No matter what your answer is to these questions, self an others like me, just remember, it will be okay.

And if it’s not.

Keep trying.

Sincerly,

Alyssa

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